It’s all fun and games, until somebody gets pregnant.
Memories
God how I miss how we once were. To think of how madly in love we were. I would do anything to have that back. To be able to FEEL the love when I wrapped my arms around you. The know that you wanted me. To feel special. Now I’m just a worthless loser who nobody would miss. Every day now for weeks I’ve had flash backs to when we were at my cottage together. I feel so empty without you. Why should I even bother going on. You’ve moved to the other side of the country and want nothing to do with me. I’m nothing more then a psychotic clingy ex boyfriend… You want a new life while I only want what we once had.
When you have nothing left in life, why must we carry on? Why do we feel we need to tough it out for others when the world only thinks of themselves. Perhaps it’s because we are afraid of causing them pain. As we all know, pain never goes away. It will only fade away into the depths. Everyone gets to a point in there life when they wonder if what they are doing or have done is/was worth it. For me, I can’t say. I’ve caused an unimaginable amount of pain, but I hope that I at least helped some people. I’m no saint. I’m nothing more then a fool. I keep bashing my head into the wall in hopes that something will change. Something in my life will get better. That I’d have a reason to live…
Then she came into my life. She made me happier then I ever thought possible. She made me want to wake up in the morning. I felt like nothing but not being able to hold her, could get me down. Unfortunately, I screwed up as I always do. My social anxiety got the better of me and I froze up. I hurt her to much that day. She has since hurt me in ways that most would never forgive, yet I try to block it away out of love for her. She’ll never let make amends. She doesn’t want me in her life. Nobody does… So I ask myself,
why am I still here…
As the title say, I only seem to be lied to and hurt. Nothing I do ends well
